I remember, after Justice died, telling my mom that Justice's death could have been worse. She was shocked and asked how it possibly could be worse. I told her that Justice could have been kidnapped and never found. I told her that Justice could have killed somebody else in the accident, and other families would be hurting too. I told her Justice could have been murdered and died painfully and scared. I told her that Justice could have lived, but in a nursing home for years with very little brain activity.
These are the realities of what could have happened. But instead, Justice died, living her best life and to its absolute fullest. She lived a wild, free-spirited life that was full of love, beauty, and so much laughter. Justice died quickly and did not suffer. For this, I am forever grateful.
I wish Justice were still here with us every day, shaking things up like she always did and making us laugh. I could want this all day long, but all it would be is a wish. Instead, Justice's journey of life continues in death through her legacy of Love Like Justice. Her reminder to live a life full of love, kindness, laughter, joy, happiness, and gratitude.
Finding joy, being aware of my feelings, and living a grateful life is how I got through the last 11 months. Knowing I am making a difference, knowing Justice's death started a movement, a reminder that life has no guarantees. Life can hurt so much, and I need to let it hurt, but I must continue to live and find joy.
The way I have chosen to move forward with Justice's death has helped so much. It has taken a lot of work, I have to dig deep inside myself and my beliefs daily, but it has worked to get me through my days and find peace in my broken heart. I realized if I decide to look at the world and all of its negativity, more than likely, I will continue to have negativity surround me, so I changed my perspective and chose to look at my life with a positive twist. Guess what? I live a better, happier life because I don't let the negative emotions consume me.
So my daily routine is to wake up an hour early, spending the time mentally preparing for my day. I meditate for up to 45 minutes. I focus on what I am grateful for, writing down three things daily. As I am getting ready for my day, I listen to a positive podcast that inspires me to be a better person.
All of this helps me move forward in my life of grief. I hope that it can help others move forward too. I realize that losing a child is a hurt that parents live with until the day they die, but I also know I can still have a life with happiness and purpose.