The Dance
Shortly after my dad died, I remember telling Darren that I never wanted to love anybody ever again. My thought process was that if I never allowed myself to love, I could protect myself from never being hurt or having someone ripped out of my life because of death. If I chose not to fall in love with people, I could save myself from heartache. Meaning I would not allow myself to live because I would let my fears control me. Darren did not always know what to say or do while I grieved, but I will never forget what Darren told me that day; he repeated the lyrics to the Garth Brooks song, "The Dance." He probably didn't have it exact, but I got the message loud and clear.
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance
Holding you, I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
If I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey, who's to say, you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance
If our lives are better left to chance
Oh, our lives are better left to chance
Oh, our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance ~ The Dance by Garth Brooks
I have thought of this song many times since Justice died, and I am glad I didn't know how it would end. I often think of how my life was perfect, and I didn't even know how great it was until my heart shattered into a million pieces. I am glad I chose to live my life and not let my fears stop me from happiness. If I had decided to run all those years ago, I maybe wouldn't have had the pain, but the love and the memories are such a priceless gift. Knowing what I know now, I would still choose to do it all over again.