The Number Eleven
Signs are a funny thing. People say you always find them when you look for them. But what about when you don’t look for them?
I’ve never really paid attention to signs. I always liked the idea of something more significant in this life, maybe a little bit of magic in this world. But nothing had happened to me, no signs or confirmations, to make me believe in some greater power.
Until I started seeing the number 11.
When I started seeing the number “11,” it startled me. Why was I always seeing this number? What significance did it have in my life?
Finally, after two weeks of constantly seeing the number 11, I realized its purpose. It was preparing me for an earth-shattering tragedy. One that would rock my world, and I would need something much larger than myself to pull me out of the grief.
My daughter Justice was killed in a car accident about two weeks after the number 11 entered my life.
My world was shaken by a pain so deep, I didn't even know how to face the days ahead. Yet, I continued seeing the number 11. It was then I realized 11 was a sign–my way of knowing there was something more significant to my daughter's death. Justice didn't just die; she died for a reason. I believe her date of death was predetermined, and her purpose was larger than anything any of us could ever imagine.
Justice left our house for the very last time at precisely 11 pm. She died 11 miles from our home. I went looking for her at 2:11am. The organ donor company called at 1:11 pm. We later found out that tarot card 11 is the Justice card. I could go on and on.
But honestly, all of these were signs that made me believe in a higher power. Something beyond our human comprehension. Something reassuring in such a tremendous loss. A promise that the soul lives on after it leaves the earth. And proof that angels exist. My angels helped me find peace in my heart. They helped me believe in something much bigger than myself and my earthly life.
Two months before Justice died, I had a dream. It took place on the 22nd anniversary of my dad's death, which was also an accident. My dream was about Justice dying and two men coming to my house to tell me she was gone.
The night of Justice's accident, as I was driving around, I knew–I knew my daughter had died. I just had this innate feeling. And I didn't want to believe it, but my gut told me the truth. The next morning, two men came to my house to confirm that Justice had died in an accident.
I never found Justice when I drove around looking for her the night she died. But I got close. I was on the road twice but turned around each time before getting to her. I believe my angels played a part in that–they protected me from a horror I wasn’t supposed to see. And to my angels, I am grateful.
Despite all the unbearable pain I have suffered, I have also found a belief so strong in the spiritual world that it has helped me move forward. And it has inspired me to do beautiful things in memory, and in honor, of Justice.
Justice’s death changed me. But I refused to let it make me bitter. I now believe in signs. I believe in trusting my gut feelings. I believe in life after death. I believe in angels. I believe there’s more to life than just what we can see. And these beliefs have inspired me to give back to the world. For others, and for Justice.
Justice continues to motivate me to be a better person and to dream big. She is the reason I started the Love Like Justice Company and the Justice Foundation. The store will raise money for the foundation. And the foundation will enable me to share my daughter with the world–her love for life and our mission to do great things. And every step of the way, I’ll keep my eyes open so I don’t miss the next 11.